A Note from Jenn Stout

May 12

On Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is often presented as a simple, universal celebration, but for many families -especially those connected to foster care, kinship care, and adoption - the day carries layers of meaning that rarely make it into greeting cards or commercials.

In reality, motherhood is not a single story. It is a constellation of women whose roles, sacrifices, and love shape a child’s life in different ways. Honoring that truth doesn’t diminish the traditional image of motherhood; it expands it.

It makes room for the families who live outside the lines and for the children whose hearts hold more than one mother at a time.

Birth mothers are often the first chapter in a child’s story, yet their experiences are frequently misunderstood. Some made the heartbreaking decision to place their child in another home. Others are working toward reunification, fighting battles that most people never see. Regardless of circumstance, they carry a love that is complex and enduring. They give children their beginnings—their history, their identity, their first connection—and they deserve compassion rather than judgment.

Foster mothers step into a different kind of calling. They love children they may not get to keep, offering stability in the midst of uncertainty. They become the bridge between what was and what comes next, often supporting birth families while navigating a system that can be both beautiful and brutal. Their hearts stretch in ways that defy logic, holding space for attachment and loss at the same time.

Kinship mothers—grandmothers, aunts, older sisters, cousins, and close family friends—are the quiet heroes who step in with little notice and even fewer resources. They preserve a child’s sense of identity, culture, and belonging. They protect children from entering the system and carry generational strength on their backs, often without recognition or support.

Adoptive mothers build forever homes, sometimes after years of fostering, infertility, or personal grief. Their love is intentional and lifelong, rooted in the commitment to honor a child’s past while creating a new future. They understand that adoption is both gain and loss, and they hold space for both truths.

There are also stepmothers and bonus moms—women who love children they did not birth and did not raise from infancy, yet who show up with consistency, patience, and care. They navigate blended-family dynamics with grace, expanding a child’s circle of support in ways that matter deeply.

Expectant mothers carry their own form of hope and uncertainty. Whether the pregnancy was planned, unexpected, or high-risk, they nurture possibility and prepare for a future that may look different than imagined. Their journey is its own expression of motherhood.

And then there are the grieving mothers—women who have lost children through miscarriage, stillbirth, death, or disrupted placements. Their motherhood is often invisible to the world, but their love is not. They remind us that motherhood is defined by connection, not by the length of time.

Finally, there are the women who mother without the title: teachers, mentors, social workers, CASA volunteers, neighbors, church members, family members and friends. They offer guidance, stability, advocacy, and belief. They mother through presence, through encouragement, through the simple act of showing up.

In the foster and adoption world, children often have multiple mothers, each shaping a different part of their story. Honoring one does not erase another. In fact, acknowledging the full landscape of motherhood helps children feel whole rather than torn between identities. Mother’s Day can be complicated, but it can also be expansive. When we widen the definition of “mother,” we widen the circle of love around every child.

This May, as the world celebrates Mother’s Day, may we remember the many women who nurture, protect, teach, heal, and love—whether for a moment, a season, or a lifetime. Every one of them matters. Every one of them shapes the story.

Jenn Stout
Chief Administrative Officer
FFA-NC